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Background Real Name: Tony Farms Marital Status: Single (but working on a family) Known Relatives: Unnamed parents (presumed deceased) Group Affiliation: None Base Of Operations: London (even though he’s American) Powers and Abilities Some selected quotes from the MST3K bunch: ...

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Context After the success of Conan the Barbarian in 1982 many C- and D-grade movies were bound to follow. Barbarian Queen, released in 1985, was one of them. Produced by Roger Corman, it was typical of the titsploitation schlock movies of the 1970s and 1980s. But *we* read it for...

(Cinematic version)
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Context This is a gisted profile for James Bond as he appears in the movies (as opposed to novels or video games). It thus covers all eras and actors up to 2012 and Die Another Day. James Bond being reportedly one of the most famous modern fictional characters, we’ll assume that further...

(James Bond villain)
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Background Real Name: Unrevealed. Marital Status: Presumably single. Known Relatives: None. Group Affiliation: None. Base Of Operations: Mobile. Height: 7’2″ Weight: 284 lbs. Eyes: Blue Hair: Brown Powers and Abilities Jaws is an exceptionally strong and tough man. For...

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Powers and Abilities Facehuggers are quick, agile, and can leap short distances. They are immensely strong for their size — it can take 2 or 3 able-bodied adult humans to outmuscle a grappling facehugger. Once a facehugger has secured a host, it puts the host to sleep. It can filter...

(Hellraiser)
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Background Real Name: “Captain Elliot Spencer” Marital Status: Single Known Relatives: None Group Affiliation: Cenobites Base Of Operations: Realm of the Cenobites, Hell Height: 6’5″ Weight: 194 lbs Age: Possibly created in 1921 Eyes: Black Hair: Spiked bald. Powers and...

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Background Real Name: Unrevealed Marital Status: Single Known Relatives: None Group Affiliation: Lord Humungus’s gang Base Of Operations: Australian Outback Height: 6’1” Weight: 210 lbs Eyes: Blue Hair: Brown (dyed red) Powers and Abilities Wez was one of the Lord...

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Context Big Trouble in Little China is a 1986 action comedy by John Carpenter, and a a shining example of a geek cult classic. It tanked commercially (clearly too many people were not brought upon this world to get it (video)), but remains very popular and frequently quoted/referred 30+...

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Background Real Name: King Jareth Marital Status: Single Known Relatives: None Group Affiliation: Goblins Base Of Operations: Goblin City Height: 5’10” Weight: 159lbs Eyes: Blue Hair: Light brown Video The trailer… in HD ! Whoo-hoo ! Awesome !

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Background Real Name: Alan “Dutch” Schaefer Marital Status: Single Known Relatives: Schaefer (brother) Group Affiliation: None, formerly the US Army Base Of Operations: Mobile Height: 6’2” Weight: 240 lbs Age: 38 (as of 1987) Eyes: Blue Hair: Brown Powers and Abilities Dutch Schaefer is a...