Lance-Constable Carrot Ironfoundersson

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Background

Powers & Abilities

While lacking powers as such, Carrot’s size and upbringing in dwarven mines has left him extremely strong and tough. He’s thus able to beat crowds of combatants, and even a troll (although this did just mean he was last to fall).

He’s memorised most of the laws of Ankh-Morpork (from an old book from when the laws were actually adhered to), and can (and will) recite them at length.

He carries the only heirloom recovered from when he was found, an unimpressive-looking but sharp sword whose inscription is long faded. Any resemblance between the blade and that of the believed-extinct royal family of Ankh-Morpork is surely coincidental. As is his birthmark.

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History

Carrot was adopted by dwarves as an infant after they found him the sole survivor of an apparent bandit attack on travellers. His sole heirloom, a worn old sword, and his birthmark identify him to any student of history as the heir of the last King of Ankh-Morpork.

Carrot is unaware of this, and was surprised to learn he was adopted – despite growing up to six and a half foot in tunnels five foot high.

The truth that he was human was revealed when his adoptive parent grew worried that he needed to be around his own kind. They sent him to the city to join the Watch, and a neighbouring human gave him a book of Ankh-Morpork’s laws (significantly out of date) which he read on the way.

He proved over-eager in the role of Lance-Constable in the Night Watch, arresting the head of the (officially sanctioned) Thieves Guild for thievery on his first day. He had to have the way the city operated explained to him by Sgt. Colon and Corporal Nobbs, though it still took him a while to see how it actually worked.

Even after grudgingly accepting that the Guilds legalised many crimes, he continued to charge anyone performing even minor infractions, obliviously walking into situations his teachers would sooner run away from (which is most situations where the individual to be arrested isn’t already unconscious).

When the Watch were forced to deal with a dragon that’d taken over the city, Carrot tried arresting it when it was briefly unconscious, defending his prisoner from the mob trying to kill it.

The dragon situation was dealt with and the Watch credited with its resolution, so Carrot was soon promoted to Corporal. While he’s learnt that some official laws can’t be enforced in the modern city, he nevertheless encourages people to obey them. And many seem to do so, if only to please him.

Description

While tall, Carrot still tends to stoop much of the time, a product of growing up in tunnels only five foot high. This doesn’t prevent his presence from making him seem taller still, and he becomes the centre of attention without trying.

Personality

Cheerful and always looking for the good in everyone, Carrot’s directness and metaphor-blindness make many see him as stupid. He can – and does – quote the laws and regulations of the city by heart, and has trouble when they conflict with his orders.

His blindness to metaphor can be a problem – although he’s starting to learn about them as he spends time with humans. He’s generally obedient to commands, trusting his superiors to know what they’re doing, so he can sometimes interpret their orders literally and do silly things.

Despite his precise adherence to the letter of the law, most people can’t help liking him, even some of those he’s arresting. His open honesty can also throw many off, leaving them dazed and certain he must be pulling a fast one.

Carrot is virtually fearless, primarily by dint of a dwarfish upbringing that has left him lacking the imagination to predict bad outcomes befalling him.

Quotes

“I have told Nobby about the Gambling (Regulation) Acts, and he said ’piss off‘, which I think is in violation of the Decency Ordinances of 1839 but I have decided to use my discretion.”

[Arresting a dragon] “It is my duty to warn you that you are to be reported for consideration of prosecution on some or all of the following counts, to whit: One, (One) i, that on or about 18^th Grune last, in a place known as Sweetheart Lane, the Shades, you did unlawfully vent flame in a manner likely to cause grievous bodily harm in contravention of Clause Seven of the Industrial Processes Act, 1508; AND THAT, One, (One) ii, that on or about 18^th Grune last, in a place known as Sweetheart Lane, the Shades, you caused or did cause to cause the death of six persons unknown…”

By Gareth Lewis.

Source of Character: Guard! Guards! by Terry Pratchett.

Writeup completed on the 14^th of July, 2014.