— Ric Flair
This is inspired by my Guild Wars 2 fighter, a typical Axe/Axe Arms AoE levelling build.
Unless you know GW2 well, this profile should be read after the Eir Stegalkin character profile. Which presents a bunch of context.
- Real Name: Kalwa Wurmslayer.
- Other Aliases: “The Champ”.
- Previous Aliases: Kalwa Lynxdóttir, Kalwa the Contender.
- Known Relatives: Sune Borjesbróðir (father), Estrid (mother), Eir Stegalkin (paternal aunt), Braham Eirsson (cousin), Borje Sunchaser (uncle, deceased), Colborn Lynxtamer (uncle), Ingrid “Weezie” the Wizened Mistress (maternal aunt), Solvej Rocksmasher (maternal aunt), Halvar Estridsson (kid brother), Bjorla Sunesdóttir (kid sister).
- Group Affiliation: Associate of Eir Stegalkin.
- Base of Operations: Mobile.
- Height: 8’7″ (2.62m). Weight: 387 lbs. (175 Kg.).
- Eyes: Amber. Hair: Black.
Powers & Abilities
Saint Razor is an exceptional :
She’s also a Norn, and not a small one. Though she’s not musclebound, she can easily lift 500 lbs. (230 Kg.) in a military press. She also excels at using the reach that being a highly athletic giantess brings.
Kalwa has a large parentele . And these have siblings, sworn allies, cousins, aunts, grown children, etc.. She can expect to find a reputable relative in most medium-sized or large Norn communities. And sometimes beyond.
Furthermore, she has an active fan club in most large Norn settlements.
The champ is here ! The champ is here !
She generally fights with a distinctive pair of hand axes :
- The left one has a thin and sharp blade (the “razor”), a spike atop, a hook in the rear, and a huge steel pommel. Plus a tassel of eagle feathers.
- The right one has a heavier and thicker blade, a spike atop, a hammer head in the rear, and a hook at the bottom. Plus a tassel of hawk feathers.
Both axes have tine-like handguards – a bit as if holding a sai by the base of the blade, with the handle pointing up. They also have lanyards.
Certain acrobatics aspects of her style can evoke capoeira, as do certain kicks. But it’s quite distinct overall. For instance there is much less ground work.
History (part 1)
Saint Razor is the daughter of two ordinary farmers, Sune and Estrid.
Sune is the older brother of the great, late Norn hero Borje Sunchaser. But that life was never for him.
Estrid is the younger sister of Colborn. He is an eccentric shaman of Snow Leopard, one of the Great Spirits of the Wild. The siblings remained close, and always managed to live within a few hours’ walk of each other.
The couple operates a small dairy farm in the Shiverpeak Mountains. Their days are filled with gruelling work to keep everything running and the cows fed.
Uncle and aunts
Estrid’s pregnancy with Kalwa didn’t go well. It left her bedridden with nausea for four months. While her life never was in danger, having so much work left undone nearly sunk the farm. This distressed the couple, who wanted more children.
When Kalwa was three, Estrid took her to visit her brother Colborn. The shaman lived with his wife Solvej, and Solvej’s wife Ingrid (it’s complicated). Solvej had been a warrior of some repute in her youth.
But the most renowned of the three was Ingrid, called “the Wizened” due to her deep crows’ feet. She was a mistress of a dozen forms of melee combat, and still practiced despite being middle-aged.
Kitties ! Kiiiittiiiiies !
Colborn’s mountain lodge was a haven for local snow leopards. The place was considered blessed by the spirit, as the felines roamed around without fear. They also came in to have litters, or to have wounds healed.
Kalwa was fascinated by the leopard cubs. The adults had to keep her under constant watch so she wouldn’t try to play with them. When time came to leave she threw a horrible tantrum, and kept wanting to go back to see “the kitties”.
She tried to run away to the lodge twice, nearly dying both times.
Sell the farm
By this point, her parents wanted to sell the farm, and move in with cousins to expand a mountain orchard.
Unlike with the cows, it was possible to have a pregnancy without getting too far behind work. As long as the late stages took place precisely during the late Spring and the Summer.
However, selling the cows and the land was a long process. With lots of travel to hand the bovines over to the new owners. Little Kalwa was handed over to Colborn during the colder half of the year.
The rest of the year, her parents were mostly at the lodge, or keeping the farm up and feeding the remaining cows.
Kalwa eventually understood that, while leopards can cohabitate with people, they can’t understand that biting or clawing them isn’t harmless. It took a while, a few minor scars, and now essentially having five parents to keep watch.
My aunt is jealous of the bunny kickboxer
Ingrid the Wizened Mistress (or just “Weezie”) had been mulling an idea over for two years. Her best friend, living several valleys over, had developed a sort of kickboxing style. It was part of her volunteer work for a shaman of the Hare wild spirit.
Therefore, it was meant for children. It wasn’t a martial art, but sports education. With some rabbit-like kicks to amuse the kids. However, Weezie had been considering developing her own combat style, and felt miffed that her friend had done it first.
Weezie watched Colborn’s leopards as they fought, for ideas. It was wont to work better than with rabbits.
Meanwhile Kalwa obstinately asked to teach her, and Weezie agreed. After all, it seemed to work fine for the kids at the Hare lodge.
Over the next ten years, Weezie made rapid progress at assembling her own martial style. It was a strange, inspired mix of feline-like acrobatics, unarmed combat and melee combat.
She also designed special hand axes to leverage her nascent style. And a formalised system of parries-and-counterattacks – a sort of axe fencing.
The way of the intercepting leopard
Kalwa took to the training with amazing speed. Colborn decreed that she was blessed by the Snow Leopard Spirit, and made her a lodge initiate.
Solvej also taught Kalwa military and outdoors skills, at Weezie’s request.
Kalwa decided to become a prize fighter. She’d compete in the Big Brawl and similar events, and in Norn battle pits. This would bring glory to her extended parentele.
Dream a little dream
That very night she dreamt of an abandoned great lodge of Snow Leopard far in the North. It was in territory lost by the Norns to the Ice Dragon a long time ago.
But in her dream, all the servants of the Dragon therein had had their throat ripped open by razor-sharp claws.
Inspired by this, she claimed the name Saint Razor as her prizefighting moniker.
Saint Razor’s prizefighting fan club beats rhythmically when she’s in the ring. And tradition *demands* that this be the stomp-stomp-clap from the We Will Rock You anthem from Queen.
Here’s the version from the 1981 concerts in Montreal. Famously, the show was recorded with experimental, HD video equipment. So the image and sound are far better than they should be.
In case it goes down as an unauthorized upload, here’s a cover. The band Warrant does look like 1980s hair metal poseurs, I’ll give you that. But their cover of We will rock you is sharp. If you like arena-style heavy metal.
Plus the footage of the video is appropriate. I assume it’s the 1992 movie Gladiator. Mostly because this flick had heavy advertising in contemporary superhero comic books.
History (part 2)
Armed or unarmed, Saint Razor was a huge hit in the championship.
- Her win/loss record remained firmly perched around 90%, with zero draws.
- Her fighting style was novel, and at once spectacular and credible. She did showy manoeuvres such as axe kick finishers, but only when given a clear opening.
- She had exceptional stage presence, electrifying the crowds.
She also developed her own brand of showmanship, more elaborate than the norm. It was reminiscent of modern US pro wrestling. Saint Razor came up with catchphrases, poses, theme colours for her chainmail, mordant taunts, signature moves, etc..
(Chainmail is worn when duelling with dulled blades. Combatants will get battered, but probably not sliced open.)
She even had a theme song of sorts. As her fan club grew, they started stomping and clapping rhythmically as she entered the ring. This energised her and made her even better.
BRING IT !
Between circuit fights, Razor launched solo fighting forays out there in the real world. She chiefly fought minotaurs and Ice Dragon worshippers, bringing back trophies to brag about.
One of her goals was to qualify for the Great Hunt of 1325. She joined this competitive hunting/fighting event on the strength of her trophies. One of the warmup events was a brawl among mootMedieval term for a special assembly-goers, which she dominated.
That year, the co-organiser of the Great Hunt was legendary heroine Eir Stegalkin. As the winner, Kalwa was introduced to her.
When Saint Razor boasted that she was the niece of the Sunchaser, the surprised Eir explained that they were related by marriage. Borje’s family had estranged Eir and never mentioned her, so this was the first Kalwa heard about it.
The big event of the 1325 was a grand melee against Issormir , a captured giant wurm. The hunters invaded its habitat.
St. Razor was next to the spot where the enormous beast burst from the ground. She reflexively grabbed the beast’s head with one of her axes’ hooks.
She thus ended atop it as it towered over the field. Kalwa kept slashing at its sensory organs from this strategic position, and thus did most of the damage.
She was thus crowned as the Slayer of the 1325 Great Hunt. This meant great prestige, and stronger expectations that she would be out there doing heroic things.
In particular a famed blacksmith had a request, which Eir endorsed. He needed remains of Dwarven steel to forge a mighty weapon.
Ms. Stegalkin, who was taking a mentoring interest in her niece, knew some could be found by raiding certain Jotun holds.
(Jotuns are low-tech giants living high in the mountains. They are dim and foul-tempered. But they also are one of the oldest cultures around. They thus have crude recollections of events preceding other species.)
The Jotuns were hostile, and Razor discovered that they worshipped the Ice Dragon. After gathering steel relics, she brought news of this to Eir. They decided to investigate together to find out who was converting the Jotuns.
As they suspected, the Sons of Svanir — Ice Dragon worshippers — were to blame.
But they could only work because an ambitious Jotun, Korag , was trying to become the first Giant-King in centuries. He likely had been inspired by the Ice Dragon – and was now converting others.
Wurmslayer vs. Giant-King
Once on Jotun turf, Kalwa was challenged to touch a spirit stone to prove her mettle. Doing so allowed her to confer with the ghost of the previous Giant-King.
The spirit talked of the history of his people, and how the Ice Dragon would destroy them.
As a result, Saint Razor didn’t defy Korag right away. She challenged him to reject the Ice Dragon for his people’s sake. But he refused, preferring his ambition. And the Norn noted that the new Giant-King was already partially empowered by the Dragon.
She left to confer with her aunt. Eir encouraged her to seek the blessing of the Wolf spirit. Once the blessing was won, the two women returned to take Korag down.
During the battle, the blessing turned Saint Razor into a huge wolf spirit. It proved mighty enough to fell the giant who would be king.
Queen of the Big Brawl
Saint Razor returned to the fighting circuit. This was time for the newest Big Brawl event.
The previous winner, Mikkel Toivosson , had caused one of Kalwa’s only two defeats. He had since refused a rematch, and kept bragging that he had beaten the famous Saint Razor.
But he couldn’t refuse a fight if the two were pitted against each other during the Big Brawl. Which most fighting fans supported, as Toivosson was particularly obnoxious.
The 1325 Big Brawl was the first open to non-Norns. So there were more events, and more travel between bouts. Saint Razor was followed by her supporters, their red-and-black themed scarves, and their chariot bearing an enormous keg of strong ale.
In the end, Kalwa soundly beat Mikkel. Now she was expecting his stupid leg sweep feint, and he wasn’t ready for a nasty elbow drop (no, not the people’s elbow).
She had thus won the two major combat competitions of the year – a rare feat.
This 80-second video presents the basics about the Norns.
A tall, highly athletic Norn. Like her cousin Braham Eirsson she’s ethnically mixed, but by Earth standards she mostly looks Western African.
She has huge trailing locs, falling to the middle of her back.
Sometimes she attaches broadhead arrowheads to her locs’ extensions’ ends. It *can* deliver nasty slashes, but it’s 98% decorative. In a real fight the odds of getting to do a locs whip lashing attack are near-zero.
She also sports golden, abstract body tattoos. This cost a bundle to make, using magical ink. And only those at the base of the neck are normally visible. But heh, they’re neat.
Beyond her distinctive axes, Razor is usually clad in mixed chainmail. It is always painted in dark-ish red and dark grey.
She doesn’t usually wear a helmet, unless clearly outnumbered.
Her usual bra is heavily padded. This is *of course* for protection, not to look curvier when in the ring. Just like Freddy Mercury was wearing a tight white mini-short for ease of movement, see ? Ease of movement.
In 20th Century parlance, a rock star. She thrives on fame and cheering admirers. Nothing compares to a crowd of fans chanting her moniker, and her life is about chasing that high.
She constantly projects the Norn ideal of the renowned warrior, doer of famous exploits. But with a modern angle, a cultivated showwoman’s swagger, and a dominantly witty aspect. She almost always has some biting repartee at the ready – she also trains for that.
She trains a lot. Her life is very much that of a particularly dedicated MMA expert, though she’s starting to pivot toward the hard-travelling heroine mould.
But a lot of her time is spent working out, sparring, practicing, running, etc.. By the evening, she’s pure done in.
Kalwa has a hazy long-term goal of getting herself a real prestigious, renowned husband someday. It’s a bit like some people want to eventually have a Ferrari. But for now her nose is on the daily grindstone, and the future is far away.
Yes yes, technically Eir is her father’s brother’s ex-wife
Kalwa’s extended family is important to her. She wants them all to be able to brag that they are related to the glorious Saint Razor, and never let them down.
Thus, that her aunt is the legendary heroine Eir Stegalkin is a kick for her. Saint Razor’s enthusiasm is also a good influence on the depressive Eir, making her laugh and feel more alive.
The two have thus gotten close, and Garm — Eir’s enormous lupine companion — loves Saint Razor.
However, seeing how Eir’s famous heroism wrecked her life and estranged her from her family is giving Kalwa pause.
“Go on, call your friends. I could use a warm-up before the real fight.”
“Tell your boys to behave, or they’ll see me again. And I won’t be so gentle next time.”
“I have a plan. A public thrashing will shut his fool bragging mouth up for good. It’s an *excellent* plan.”
Announcer: “And in this corner, from the Shiverpeaks…” (interrupted by a deafening roar from the crowd).
Saint Razor (walks in with a swagger as the crowd falls silent, reaches behind her back, draws her two axes with a rapid twirling flourish) “HERE COME THE CLAWS !”
Crowd: “ROOAAAAAAR !!” (dozens of 350 lbs+ Norns start stomping and clapping).
“Tell Korag to prepare for battle. It won’t take long.”
“Punching people in the face is the second-best way to make friends.”
Eir: “We should try talking to them… but the Sons of Svanir despise women. Neither of us would get much.”
Kalwa (scritching Garm’s head): “Maybe this good boy can lead then ?”
DC Heroes RPG
|Dex: 05||Str: 05||Bod: 04|
|Int: 05||Wil: 04||Min: 05|
|Inf: 06||Aur: 04||Spi: 05|
|Init: 018||HP: 025|
Bonuses and Limitations:
Growth is Always On, Already Factored In and Form Function.
Acrobatics: 05, Artist (Working the crowd): 05, Martial Artist: 06, Weaponry (Melee): 06
Bonuses and Limitations:
Weaponry has Multi-Attack 1.
Familiarity (Scalp and hair care products, Fighting championships, Snow Leopard lore, Mountain survival), Local Hero (Norns).
Norn communities (Low).
Public ID, MPR (Razor’s huge size can occasionally be problematic).
- CHAINMAIL HAUBERK [BODY 04, Blunting: 03, Enhance (Slashing, Piercing RV): 02 (cap is 08), Power Loss (Blunting drops to 01 against non Slashing/Piercing damage), Stealth penalty 2/3].
- Signature axes (x2) [BODY 05, Enhance (EV): 02 (cap is 07), Enhance (Wrestling/Grappling EV): 01 (cap is 06), Recommended STR 04.
I’m still using the power scale that was based on the *novel*, rather than the game. This was explained in the Eir Stegalkin entry.
I’m going with light-ish chainmail to leave room for higher-level armour as Razor gains levels. I’m also leaving out the axe/mace switch she uses at this point, the underwater stuff, etc.. Maybe in later entries.
The Multi-attack represents the AoE-heavy axe/axe fightage.
Source of Character: Based on a Guild Wars 2 Player Character.
Writeup completed on the 3rd of March, 2020.