Esther Bloomenbergensteinenthal
Context
The Hebrew Hammer was a 2003 niche comedy. It’s hilarious for a relatively small public, and prolly not that interesting for the rest. Esther was the female lead, and played by Judy Greer.
For more context, see the Hebrew Hammer character profile. Also there are S P O I L E R S in this writeup, oy.
Background
- Real Name: Esther Bloomenbergensteinenthal.
- Marital Status: Single.
- Known Relatives: Chief Bloomenbergensteinenthal of the JJL (father).
- Group Affiliation: Jewish Justice League.
- Base Of Operations: JJL headquarters, New York.
- Height: 5’9.6” Weight: 135 lbs.
- Eyes: Sparkling grey. Hair: Flowing brown.
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Powers and Abilities
Esther is a good agent, a decent marksmaideleh and a beautiful seductress.
Though she’s capable in combat, much of her work relies on social interaction. Specifically — in DC Heroes RPG terms — Persuasion augmented with her Attractive Advantage.
History
Esther is the prized daughter of the Chief of the Jewish Justice League, and a JJL agent.
When Damian Klaus murdered his father Santa Claus and decided to turn Christmas into a bigoted rejection of Jewish cultures, Esther knew that the Hebrew Hammer was the only chance of the Jewish people.
Ms. Bloomenbergensteinenthal convinced her father that the Hammer, who had been drummed out of the JJL, should be reintegrated — and once again be their main mensch in the field.
Description
A fairly typical New York City Jewish younger lady. The cinematography emphasised her attractiveness.
Personality
Esther is your typical New York Jewish Princess, crossed with a professional intelligence agent plus a James Bond Girl. She’s quite driven to obtain results for the JJL.
Esther does not have much dialogue. But from her facial expressions it is obvious that she finds many things gross and inelegant. And that the well-educated but somewhat judgemental Ms. Bloomenbergensteinenthal disapproves of Jewish men getting busy with shiksas.
Quotes
“Daddy, Mordechai Jefferson Carver is our only hope and you know it.”
Esther (alluringly): “Mordechai, maybe we should try another kind of dancing.”
Hebrew Hammer (clueless): “Oh, ah, oh, you mean like, the funky chicken ?..”
Esther (whispers): “No.” (inevitable fade to black)
“The letters on your door say you’re a ‘private circumcised dick’. May I see your credentials ?”
DC Universe History
In the DCU, the JJL could be an investigative group assembled by the Anti-Defamation League and acting as a clearing house for a small number of Jewish adventurers and superhumans — mostly Americans.
Though the name (it’s actually called the Jewish Justice League) is tongue-in-cheek and much of the activity is socialising. But they also do some serious work to defend Jews against prejudice. Most of it is conducted by Esther and their on-again, off-again associate the Hebrew Hammer. Ragman is also a semi-regular agent.
A persistent rumour is that Superman is a JJL member.
Game Stats — DC Heroes RPG
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Esther
| Dex: 03 | Str: 02 | Bod: 04 | Motivation: Seeking Justice |
| Int: 04 | Wil: 04 | Min: 04 | Occupation: JJL agent |
| Inf: 05 | Aur: 04 | Spi: 04 | Resources {or Wealth}: 005 |
| Init: 012 | HP: 020 |
Skills:
Artist (Actress): 03, Charisma (Persuasion): 05, Weaponry (Firearms): 04
Advantages:
Attractive.
Connections:
Jewish Justice League (High).
Drawbacks:
Attack Vulnerability (-1 CS OV/RV against Persuasion attempts tailored against New York Jewish Princess weaknesses, such as men promising to give her many children who will go to Long Island private school while they hold a stable, high-paying and prestigious job, etc. etc.), Loss Vulnerability (All Attributes and Skills drop to 0 during Shabbat).
Equipment:
S&W Model 19 .357 magnum snub-nose revolver [BODY 04, Projectile weapons: 04, Ammo: 06, R#02].
Source of Character: The Hebrew Hammer (2003 movie) ; Esther is played by Judy Greer.
Helper(s): IMFDB.org for identifying her gun (I thought it was a Colt Border Patrol, nu.)