Monotreme

Context

This character is an original creation. We often call these “homemades” or “homebrewed” – think home cooking or craft beer.

Many of these characters were created to take part in tabletop role-playing game sessions. Others were invented as a creative writing exercise, often as part of a community event.

Background

Advertisement

Powers and Abilities

As the Avatar of the Monotremes  (the animals of the Order Monotremata were not numerous or political enough to each get their own Avatars), Bob has access to the powers and abilities of the mighty monotreme family of animals.

Alas, only the platypus (Ornithorhynchus anatinus) and echidna (“spiny anteater,” two genera and many species) are known in modern times. So that’s pretty much what Bob got stuck with.

So, OK.

• Like all monotremes, of course, he’s got a hollow, bony spur on the heel of each foot and hand. This spur contains a poisonous substance which Bob secretes constantly.
• He also has no external ear formations and poorly-developed eyes, so it’s a bit hard to attack him with audio/visual stimuli.
• He’s got webbed feet like a platypus, so he can swim kind of fast and hold his breath underwater for quite a while.
• Like the echidna…well…there’s no pleasant way of putting this. His tongue and mouth can zap out and probe for insects and the like.
• He can also protect himself with quills that grow all over his back by…well…curling up into a little, spiny ball.

Advertisement

History

Poor Bob was on his way to becoming the latest intern aboard that silly Crocodile Hunter show on cable. He had about a semester of zoology training under his belt, and his archaeologist father just happened to be chartering a plane to the Australian Outback, just a few hundred miles from the final interview.

Bob had it made. Sweet-talk dad into letting him tag along, walk to the nearest town, rent a car, and “Hello, Steve !”

Well, the sweet-talking part of the plan went fine. Bob even helped load the plane. Then, a crate fell on his head. It didn’t hurt Bob much, though. Just a minor scrape on his shoulder, really.

However, a journal fell out of the crate onto Bob’s foot. That actually hurt a little more, and even caused a pretty bad bruise. You know, the kind where it’s all nasty looking and kind of yellowish, and really hurts when you poke at it ? What ?

The journal

Oh, right: The journal. Anyway, the journal opened when it fell to some aboriginal symbols that his father had abandoned translating. Craig had translated bits, and what was readable sounded interesting enough.

“Word of power” sounded pretty good. “Power of the monotremes” didn’t sound bad, although Bob admittedly hadn’t the foggiest idea what a “monotreme” might be.

And, hey, it looked like the old man was playing Hangman in the margin—no, wait. He was trying to decipher the “Word of Power” phonetically, based on the glyph that looked like a guy hanging from a rope.

The word, as deciphered by Bob’s father, was “Klif(something)brahg.” Obviously, that “something” had to get filled in for Bob to receive the power. So he tried a few sounds that he thought fit. None worked. Finally, he thought about “that clicky-sound that those funny Australians make.”

Apparently, that complete lack of education was exactly what was needed to solve the puzzle. For when Bob spoke the word “Klif(click)brahg,” a light welled up from within the ground, enveloped Bob, and transformed him into an “archetypical monotreme.”

And then his father screamed like a little girl and ran away, never to be seen again.

Animal instinct

Bob, meanwhile, hatched an evil scheme. Well, not so much “evil scheme” as “vague goal.” His plan, if you can call it that, was to go to the library, find out what the hell a monotreme was, and figure out how he could use it to commit crimes.

Bob was never what you’d call a “good boy.”

So, he heads to the library. And he’s pretty much got kicked out by the Head Librarian, who didn’t really like Bob to begin with, and certainly didn’t believe the creature in front of him was he. Well, actually, the “kicking out” only really lasted until Bob tried out his poison spurs on the old guy, killing him pretty much on the spot.

He then ransacked the library, trying to figure out where he would even begin to look for monotremes. He finally settled on the encyclopedia (ah, education in action). A quick read, and Bob knew he’d been gypped. A quick glance at his body confirmed the lack of nipples and the cloaca, which was funny for the first few minutes, until the novelty wore off.

Description

Bob looks kind of like a cross between a platypus and an echidna, naturally. Though I suppose that wouldn’t be at all natural. He’s got a pudgy body covered in quills, and stumpy arms and legs. The rear legs end in webbed feet, and the forelegs end in razor sharp claws. All extremities have a bony spur at the heel.

His head appears to be merely an extension of his upper body, being sort of squat and round, with little beady eyes poking through a mound of fur. Beneath his eyes, is a large, leathery, duck-like bill, from which his tongue shoots out, periodically.

He often wears a suit and tie, because he thinks it makes him look distinguished, and has a tuxedo for really special occasions. Where he gets them tailored is beyond me.

Personality

He’s sort of a bland cretin. Periodically, he gets delusions of grandeur and pictures himself as an amazing supervillain, but deep down, he knows he got the short end of the stick and that he looks and acts like a buffoon.

Quotes

“You can kiss my cloaca, do-gooder !”

DC Universe History

OK, he’s probably not the big JLA foe of the month. I have to admit he even seems to make the Ten-Eyed Man seem significantly cooler, in perspective.

By John Colagioia.

Source of Character: Obvious dementia.