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Newsboy Army

(7 Soldiers)


Power Level:
Game system: DC Heroes Role-Playing Game

Context

These characters appeared in the notable Grant Morrison 2005 Seven Soldiers meta-series. However, they are 1940s characters, modelled after the “band of kid rascals” archetype of the day. Said archetype is often associated with Jack “the King” Kirby, who depicted several such bands and drew from his own rough-and-tumble childhood.

The Newsboy Army plays several key roles in the precision mechanics of the Seven Soldiers plot.

This article summarises their shared exploits and tragedies, to avoid repeating info in every individual profile.


History

This 1940s group, also called the Newsboys from Nowhere Street, was a bunch of preternaturally talented kids. They existed the model of such groups as the Newsboy Legion, Boy Blue and the Blue Boys, the Dingbats of Danger Street or the Green Team.

Their members were :

  • The adorable Chop Suzi, loved by all, who seemed to be a super-mechanic.
  • Cap, who seemed as strong as an adult strongman despite his age and small size. He always wore American football armour.
  • Kid Scarface, who always wore impeccable pin-striped suits and seemed good with weapons (mostly a slingshot or a bat).
  • Lil’ Hollywood, apparently an impressionist with high social presence for her age.
  • Ali Ka-Zoom, incredibly gifted at prestidigitation, later nicknamed the “Merlin of the ghetto”.
  • Millions, the richest dog in the world.
  • Baby Brain, a super-smart and mature baby who eventually became Big Ed.

Seven there were

The team had many wondrous, exciting and exotic adventures. As Ed later put it, “we were cool”.

The Newsboy Army takes its oath at the United Nations

Using Millions’s money, they set up a secret HQ in a junkyard. There Baby Brain realised his dream — they set up printing presses and became publishers of the Nowhere Street News.

Their amazing adventures eventually stopped, though, due to a simple fact — there were seven of them (since Millions was counted as a full member by everyone). Thus, they were potentially the Seven Soldiers.

They were eventually manipulated into discovering the existence of the Sheeda. Their investigation led them to Slaughter Swamp, were they met the traitor among the Seven Unknown Men – the Time Tailor. The Tailor sewed special, horrible fates for them, and the team was soon destroyed under squalid circumstances.

Broken fates

All but Baby Brain and Lil’ Hollywood died.

Fates of the Newsboy Army

Millions passed away from natural causes.

The pregnant Chop Suzi apparently died in childbirth or just after while she was but 14. Ace was killed by the others when he was accused of having raped and later murdered Suzi. Perhaps he killed her because she chose to give birth instead of having a back-alley abortion — there are no clues about this.

Lil‘ Hollywood became a washed-out alcoholic has-been, her ageing preternaturally stopped under unclear circumstances.

Ali went mad and died after studying real magic. But he later came back as a ghost.

Kid Scarface became a guilt-ridden undead mobster controlling much of Los Angeles.

Baby Brain, ageing normally yet retaining the body of a baby, became a reclusive freak. He lived in mortal terror of the Sheeda. Though he remained a hidden hermit in the heart of Manhattan, he managed to hold himself together by becoming Big Ed, publisher of the Manhattan Guardian. This paper presumably rose from the ashes of the Nowhere Street News.


Sharing

By Sébastien Andrivet.

Source of Character: Seven Soldiers meta-series.

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