Queen Kala

Background

Powers & Abilities

The Netherworlders (occasionally “Netherlanders”), Kala among them, experience greatly slowed ageing once they reach adulthood.

This *seems* to be caused by a combination of genetics and the special air they breathe. As long as they stick to their demesne , they can live for centuries in excellent health.

Kala is thus centuries old, though she didn’t specify further.

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Talents

Kala is a passable singer.

She knows secret chants that can pacify savage monsters called Kraawl. This is the only way to use a Kraawl as a mount, and Kala may be the only one left who knows the song. Kraawl are extremely strong, and can apparently move as fast as a horse.

Kala has good people skills, though not quite as good as she thinks they are. She’s a fair liar and manipulator.

When young she’s also particularly pretty, which she will unhesitatingly wield as none-too-subtle leverage if that’s her best option.

More tricks

She also used an hypnotic drug mixed with food and drink. But my impression was that it was a Lava Men witch doctor recipe rather than something from Kala’s arsenal.

As it turned out, she’s surprisingly sneaky. She doesn’t do physical combat at all though, except for the very rare use of some exotic beam weapon such as an ageing ray.

Kala probably has technological skills. See the “Techno-queen ?” section for more.

Like many Netherworlders, Kala is fully fluent in modern English.

Kala was originally Queen of the Netherworld, then briefly co-ruler of the Mole Man (Harvey Elder)’s empire, then Queen of the Lava Men, then a dignitary among the Mollians.

Into the Netherworld

The Netherworld was originally a little corner of Atlantis. It presumably was a single, small, coastal city.

They were among those who saw the possibility of their continent sinking, and invested in a robust, transparent dome. When the catastrophe came, 20,000 years ago, the population could thus be shielded in time.

The city briefly rested on the oceanic floor. But it then continued to sink far underground. It also apparently drifted well westward, seemingly ending up under the modern East Coast of the USA.

Though some Netherworlders are fond of stating that they reside at the core of the Earth, they are clearly still within Earth’s crust. The depth of most subterranean realms is unclear. But given how temperature progresses as depth increases a mere 2.5 miles or so would be a good rule of thumb. Given the unremarkable temperatures in ’em giant caverns.

Take that, oil of Olay (part 1)

The air of the Netherworld presents remarkable anagathic  properties. It practically suspends the ageing process. Amazingly, a Netherworlder breathing surface air will become frail and aged within seconds… but this ageing will wind back and disappear within a few minutes of breathing Netherworld air.

However, once a Netherworlder has been exposed to surface air once, the anagathic effects will be weakened. They still age very slowly, but it’s markedly quicker than before.

The Netherworld thousands of years ago – on the surface before the dome was built, and resting on the ocean floor.

Netherworlders weren’t aware of that until the 1960s. Between that and the impossible properties outlined above, our No-Prize Hypothesis  is that Netherworld is in contact with a small Fountain of Youth, which slowly seeped into the water vapor in their air.

Fountains of Youth are seemingly magical sources of underground water. They can make people unageing if they drink from them regularly. The main known Fountain was used for centuries by Tyrannus, before being conquered by the Mole Man then lost.

Take that, oil of Olay (part 2)

That the anagathic factor in the Fountain is present in the atmosphere of the Netherworld was also Kala’s explanation in 1991. One imagines that Netherworld scientists researched the issue after the discovery that the surface atmosphere had such deleterious effects on their people.

Note that Netherworlders who adventure underground do not experience insta-ageing, as long as they don’t get close to the surface. Since they appear to only travel short distances (on foot, mostly), it may be that the air for some distance around the Netherworld retain enough anagathic elements to sustain their longevity.

However, the air near the Netherworld isn’t sufficient to erase ageing provoked by surface air. Only the air in Netherworld proper — or the Fountain of Youth — can undo the damage. Furthermore, if a Netherworlder has been exposed several times to surface air, only the air in Netherworld itself will maintain their youth.

Air near the Netherworld will no longer be sufficient, though it likely still prolongs their lifespan.

Technology, part 1

Netherworld tech is clearly more advanced and sophisticated than Earth’s. But at the same time it was outmatched by Tony Stark‘s 1960s tech. And a lot of it seemed underpowered for its size.

Kala did mention that Netherworld tech had a power output problem. And they needed Stark to build generators to power machines with enough oomph to reach the surface. Netherworld engineers might thus have a known area of weakness about high-energy systems. This may explain why some of their war machines were huge but delivered so-so outputs.

Perhaps this is due to a scarcity in materials caused by their underground location ? Or, more simply, their air had other strange properties interfering with power management tech.

Or perhaps, as we’ll hypothesize below, it is Deviant technology and the Netherworlders don’t have the means to produce new batteries and have to make do with old, tired ones.

Some of the Netherworld tech that was seen or mentioned :

• Audiovisual scanners allowing them to observe the surface world (or at least the general area above the Netherworld). This is how they learned English (and perhaps some other languages).
• Kala stated that she had the technology to reverse Earth’s axis and thus devastate everything on the surface, but that was almost certainly a bad bluff.
• At least one disintegrator cannon looking like large artillery pieces.
• At least one “imper-sonic flame thrower” mounted on a huge tank.
• At least one “magnetically-directed machine-gun” that fired “atomic bullets”.
• The diamonds of doom (see below).

Technology, part 2

The following were seen used by Lava Men under Kala’s command, but are suspected Netherworld tech :

• “Cinderization” rifles that turn the air into bands of volcanic ashes to restrain foes.
• “Flame rifles” – apparently flamethrowers that do not need a fuel tank.
• An energy pistol that could instantly age people into senescence.
• A machine that could make everybody in a wide radius understand each other, no matter how many different languages were present.

There was also the city dome itself, that still existed above the buildings of Netherworld. It significantly weakened with age, though. While it could withstand Deviant cannon fire and the Great Cataclysm back in its heydays, it was casually punched through by Iron Man in 1963.

Diamond… of DOOM !

Of particular note in this arsenal is the Diamond of Doom. It is a man-sized, cut transparent gemstone that can become immaterial – or rather, it becomes “transparent” toward soil and stone. It “flies” toward the surface, emerging from the ground and encasing its target before anybody can react.

The diamond then slowly becomes immaterial again, along with its captive, as it sinks back into the ground. If something not made of stone or soil touches it during that phase, it will seem material but completely frictionless.

Once fully immaterial and underground, the diamond can swiftly fly through the earth again, back to its launch pad with its prisoner.

It is possible to break the diamond from within, though a calm Hulk had to put some effort into it.

One of the first documented uses was haphazard (2 nearby persons were captured in turn before the diamond nabbed Stark, the actual target). Later on, the diamond was quite precise and could, say, nab the Hulk or a speeding ski jumper in mid-leap.

When she ruled the Lava Men, Kala had a machine with berths for at least 5 diamonds of doom.

Olympics… of PERIL !

The custom-made equipment for the Winter Olympics champions who were forced to fight for Kala was :

• A pair of bulky, rocket-powered skis – with thick poles that doubled as energy rifles.
• Jet-powered ice skates – with forearm mounted blades that could cleave through a tree trunk even when wielded by an ordinary person.
• A one-man rocket powered bobsled with twin frontal energy cannons.
• An enhanced lacrosse stick that fired “power puck” explosive projectiles. It either enhanced the wielder’s strength or came with a strength-enhancing exoskeleton .

Techno-queen ?

Though she’s not seen wielding high technology herself, Kala seems interested in it – particularly experimental weapons. More interestingly, when she becomes queen of the Lava Men, these primitive folks suddenly acquire Netherworld technology.

There are two main possibilities here :

1. The Netherworlders let Kala leave with tonnes of equipment, complete with instructions manuals that the Lava Men could somehow read and master. Mmmmmm…
2. Kala has significant tech skills, but only uses those off-panel . She could build enough of a production base to equip an army of Lava Men within a few years.

Here’s our No-Prize Hypothesis  for this profile. Hang on to your fez , true believer !

• The Netherworlders and the Gortokians (see our Grotesk profile) share a common background, shaped by the Deviants.
• For instance, one can postulate that the city that became the Netherworld wasn’t culturally Atlantean, but a Deviant factory  (a sort of trading post) on the Atlantean coast, chiefly populated by Human slaves. These slaves might have been genetically manipulated, helping explain the anagathic thing.
• The future Netherworld is shown to be attacked by Deviants aircrafts during the war against Atlantis that preceded the Great Cataclysm. Perhaps there had been a successful slave revolt, or perhaps the Deviant masters had been forced to flee when the war broke out.
• After Netherworld sunk, only Humans remained within and they continued to use Deviant technology.
• When Kala became Queen of the Lava Men, it was in part because her Deviant-inspired culture and garb reminded them of ancient Gortokians (Lava Men were Gortokians before they were demonically mutated).
• The Lava Men had access to ancient caches of perfectly preserved Deviant technology from their Gortokian days, mothballed since they had little use for it.
• Kala is skilled in using Deviant tech and was able to reactivate industrial machinery, teach Lava Men how to use these weapons, build new supplies, etc. off-panel .

It was established (Avengers Annual 1991) that most advanced technology in Subterranea came from long-since abandoned Deviant caches. This No-Prize Hypothesis is thus conservative, only stretching in order to explain Deviant technology and cultural heritage in a city once located in Atlantis.

History

In 1963, Kala decided to go and conquer the surface world. Though her generals thought this might be a mistake, she was very confident in the power of Netherworld weapons. However, Netherworld’s forces couldn’t even reach the surface with their heavier vehicles, as they didn’t have a power source strong enough to drill a passage.

Kala decided to capture the most brilliant surface engineer, Tony Stark – who unbeknownst to her had secretly and recently started being active as Iron Man. She would then force him to produce inventions to power her small army.

Tony Stark captured by a “diamond of doom”.

After remotely sabotaging an experiment and capturing two Stark employees to reel him in, Kala snatched Stark. He readily agreed to collaborate with her before she even finished her threats, as long as he was alone in a good Netherworld workshop. Of course, what Stark actually did was build himself a suit of Iron Man armour, plus some attachments.

Heavy boots of lead, fill his victims full of dread

Bursting out of the lab, Iron Man single-handedly beat back the Netherworld military. He then grabbed Kala and took her to the surface. During his time in the Netherworld Stark had analyzed the local atmosphere. He soon revealed to Kala what happened when a Netherworlder breathed surface air.

After being returned to the Netherworld and thus rejuvenated, Kala renounced her now manifestly unworkable goals. As was the style of the day, Stark explained that women were naturally unfit to rule and that Netherworld should be run by a military man. He suggested that she marry General Baxu and, in so many words, go back to her kitchen. The engagement took place on the spot.

As it happened, Kala seemed to actually like Baxu and enjoy their relationship. However, her move was also driven by politics. The Netherworlders felt humiliated by how easily Iron Man had defeated their military, and wanted Kala out. Having Baxu in charge shielded her against their resentment.

Overthrown

However, Baxu died a few years later.

Kala was promptly ousted, though she remained in the vicinity of the Netherworld in order not to age.

(There are small continuity issues at that point. What follows is a No-Prize Hypothesis to reconcile accounts.)

A small retinue of Netherworlders remained loyal to their Queen, and soon joined her in exile – with supplies. A crafty liar, Kala leveraged these faithfuls in order to make it look like she was still Queen of Netherworld and these were a party of royal guards and servants.

She then approached the Mole Man (Harvey Elder), whose recently-expanded empire was a relatively short distance away from the Netherworld. She thoroughly tricked him, convincing him that a/ she loved him and wanted to marry him and b/ she was still a Queen and represented Netherworld.

1970s

Kala did not just seek to take over the Mole Man’s realm and get rid of him. Her key objective was the Fountain of Youth, once controlled by Tyrannus (Romulus Augustulus) but that had recently been taken over by the Mole Man.

She modified her plan when she noticed that one of the Mole Man’s servants was the mesmerized Tyrannus. Since the immortal Ancient Roman was particularly handsome and an Emperor on his own, she arranged to break his conditioning so he would rule at her side after killing the Mole Man.

Of course, Tyrannus betrayed Kala as soon as he was free. Kala apparently managed to flee, but Tyrannus was seemingly killed, the Fantastic Four wrecked Elder’s latest weapons of global destruction, and the Mole Man was left alone and with his heart broken. Poor little genocidal maniac.

1980s

Though at this point Kala had practically nothing left, she managed to convince the Lava Men to adopt her as their Queen. As previously noted, it is possible that this was facilitated by shared ancient history among the Netherworlders and the Gortokians.

In 1980, during the Winter Olympics , Kala launched her war against the Mole Man. Now armed with energy weaponry, her Lava Men made significant headways against the Moloids – and even against the Mole Man’s superhuman Outcasts.

But that was not enough. It became clear that a continued war would ravage both kingdoms.

Kala and the Mole Man agreed to instead settle the conflict with a contest. Kala captured Olympics competitors and equipped them with super-gear so they could meet the Outcasts in a series of challenges. She forced these champs to fight for her by using an ageing ray on the girlfriend of a skier, telling them that only conquering the Fountain of Youth could restore her to youth.

Kala was determined to cheat. She had Lava Men covertly deploy some of their low-tech artillery to bomb any contest where Kala’s champions might lose.

Eat your heart out, de Coubertin

As the Hulk (Bruce Banner) stumbled upon the Olympics, Kala sent her Lava Men to capture him. When that didn’t work, she instead vamped him into helping her. Kala then pumped massive amounts of mind control drugs into his food and drink. When she produced the Hulk on the field of battle as a *further* cheat, the Mole Man countered by forcing Spider-Man (Peter Parker) to enter the field.

Kala singing to a Kraawl to tame it.

Spider-Man accidentally sent the drugged Hulk crashing in the Mole Man and Kala. This cracked Kala’s protective helmet, exposing her to surface air and insta-ageing her. It was also revealed that the Fountain of Youth had been lost during the fight, its waters drained away in the underground.

The Lava Men no longer wanted to follow Kala. Apparently, she no longer resembled their idealized image of a queen. The Mole Man, on the other hand, welcomed her to join him as his queen, since he didn’t care that much about looks. Kala took the offer.

(Some years later, the Lava Men would choose Grotesk as their new ruler).

Queen Kala and the Mole Man lived together for a while, and she actually grew fond of him. However, the not-entirely-stable Elder drifted away from her, as he decided that she was too old after all. Kala eventually found herself a quasi-prisoner, isolated in her quarters.

By that point, Elder didn’t want to ever see her again.

1990s

In 1991, a civil war among Deviants ended up with one Brutus in power. Brutus took hordes of powerful mutates (genetically engineered warrior slaves) with him to raid the underground realms. His goal was to repossess the old caches of Deviant technology that the subterranean powers had used for thousands of years.

The three main realms (ruled by Tyrannus, the Mole Man and Grotesk) were forced to ally. Even that didn’t suffice, and they were forced to request aid from the Avengers in New York City. Meanwhile, the isolationist Netherworlders foolishly decided to stand on their own.

Wanting to help the Mole Man even though he now ignored and insulted her, Kala escaped. She then made her way to New York City. Paying in gold jewellery, she then took a plane to California where she beseeched Tony Stark for help. However, as she was making her case the Outcasts, sent by the Mole Man, attacked to recapture her.

Iron Man stopped most Outcasts, but Digger and Landslide did leave with Kala. En route, she convinced them to take her to Netherworld instead, in good part to see if the air there would make the pair of Outcasts immortal.

However, some Netherworlders still despised her after all these years, and a patrol they ran into opened fire on sight.

Renouncements, part 1

Iron Man swooped in and saved Kala. Meanwhile, Landslide was forced to release a shock wave that threatened to collapse the entire mammoth cave hosting Netherworld. Iron Man managed to stop the chain reaction, saving Netherworld. As he did, Kala regained her youth thanks to the Netherworld air.

The patrol that had shot at Kala had been killed in the fray. Thus, the Netherworlders mistakenly thought that Queen Kala had returned with Iron Man to save their city in the nick of time from the Outcasts. They cheered her, welcoming her back.

However, Kala chose to leave immediately, so she could guide Iron Man out of the Netherworld to summon aid in time to save the Moloids. As they flew out of Netherworld, Kala re-aged back to her elderly state, as she knew she would.

Renouncements, part 2

Kala and Iron Man convinced the West Coast Avengers to come to help. As it happened, the WCAs also ended up rescuing the eastern Avengers, who had been overwhelmed during their efforts against Brutus’ army.

Thanks to Kala, Brutus’ hordes were defeated. Brutus himself was murdered by his own troops after the Avenger Sersi revealed that he wasn’t a Deviant, but a mere mutate.

During the battle, Kala was grievously wounded as she saved the Mole Man from a mutate’s spear. The Mole Man stabilized her for a while, but the elderly Kala soon slipped into a coma.

Coma

Realizing that he had been a complete jerk toward Kala, the Mole Man worked on saving her. However, he could only come up with one of his… peculiar plans. He used Deviant technology to build a machine that could de-age and heal her, but needed a specific sort of energy to feed it.

In 1993, during a charity boxing match between the Hulk and the Thing, Mole Man determined that he could power his machine by absorbing their energy. Jumping the gun once again, he took hostages to force the two super-strongmen to fight to the death and thus fully rejuvenate Kala.

Once she was sufficiently healed to be conscious (and with her ageing rolled back by about 30 years), Kala tried to convince her husband to stop this nonsense and find another way. He didn’t listen, but the Thing and Hulk ended up destroying the absorption system.

The shockwaves wrecked the healing pod Kala was in, but at that point she was fully healed and perhaps in her 40s physically. She finally convinced the Mole Man to quit it before somebody got seriously hurt.

The couple decided to get back together, and to formally marry.

Happily never after

However, Kala has not been seen since. It seems probable that she and her husband broke up in some fashion, perhaps because of the Mole Man’s psychological instability.

What she’s been up to for the last 23 (as of this writing) years is thus a mystery (or a tale of suspense, perhaps).

MC2

In the MC2 continuity (a *possible* future of the Marvel Universe) Kala is reportedly :

• Fully rejuvenated.
• Called the Queen of the Underworld.
• No longer seems associated with the Mole Man (who seemingly died after his territory shrunk to Monster Island).
• Might be an important player in Subterranean politics.

Other players included Terrax the Tamer, the Living Lava Man and Tyrannus, Master of the Subterraneans.

For more about the MC2 continuity, see our Spider-Girl (May “Mayday” Parker) profile.

Description

A beautiful lass who gets to wear some fabulous Kirby outfits. Including of course signature Kirby hats. So that’s a work benefit right here.

Kala is not above discreetly standing on some random rock to make herself look taller.

In 1980, when on the surface she wore a “fishbowl” type helmet, without visible air tanks, to avoid being exposed to surface air. Since it went out of its way to still show her face and her Kirby hat — at the expense of durability — one suspects it was built to specs for Kala.

In her elderly state, Kala is about 80 – but she’s remarkably healthy for her age. In 1993 she looked closer to 45-ish thanks to partial rejuvenation.

Personality

Kala is haughty, forceful and ambitious.

We are also told that she’s vain, which seems solely based on her gender. And her preference for not being turned into a wizened, valetudinarian crone.

There’s an implication that her original plan of conquest was caused by boredom. Thus, having something to keep her busy (such as a relationship) made her less likely to engage in such adventures. It’s a bit hard to tell given the misogyny of the Tales of Suspense story, though.

Kala is adept at bullshitting and manipulation, and will unhesitatingly use those if there isn’t simpler means to get what she wants.

She’s an underhanded, treacherous bully. She’s such a terrible loser that she’ll employ any means not to lose.

She has mentioned “the Prime Mover” and a “Goddess”, but that’s all we know.

Later on

During the 1980s, Kala considerably matured and mellowed. She was no longer that interested in power and trickery.

In fact she seemed largely benign, working to help defend Subterranea and seeking peace.

By that point her beloved the Mole Man was treating her like a bad smell, but she didn’t care. She still loved him and did everything she could to save his kingdom and its population.

While she used to be highly self-centred, she had become remarkably altruistic and self-sacrificing. Her haughty pride is also gone, as she’s now concerned with doing the right thing.

Quotes

“I am Kala, Queen of the Netherworld ! Welcome to my underground empire !”

“Our civilization *is* superior to yours ! We Netherworlders possess many scientific secrets unknown to the surface world !”

“You ! Man-like creature ! You may approach the Divine Presence !”

“Shades of the substrata !”

“Well, messenger ? Is it news that the battle is won that you bring to your mistress Kala, Queen of the Underworld ?”

“Yes ! The most advanced weapons known to Subterranean science, adapted to your particular sport, that you may win for me immortality ! An unending life of beauty and power !”

DC Universe History

One more campy underground realm would change little to the Silver Age DC Universe, really. And it’d keep Cave Carson and his buds busy too, keep them out of the pub.

By Sébastien Andrivet.

Source of Character: Marvel Comics.

Helper(s): Darci.

Writeup completed on the 27^th of May, 2016.