Real Men from N.O.W.H.E.R.E.
– *Husks*, sergeant Washington. We call ’em husks down here. I know it sounds like a breakfast cereal, but it’s for their own good.”
Context
The Men from N.O.W.H.E.R.E. appeared in the landmark 1990s Doom Patrol run by Grant Morrison. The run had some meta bits about the nature of comic books, particularly during the Pentagon story arc. Like Flex Mentallo, the Men from N.O.W.H.E.R.E. assume that the dated, fly-by-night adverts in old comic books were actually part of the stories, or at least the world.
The notes also are from the 1990s. So they are smaller in scope, assume some sense of what Doom Patrol is about, assume that everybody has every edition of DC’s Who’s Who, and other topical stuff.
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We’re on a road to N.O.W.H.E.R.E.
Most info on them is on DC’s Who’s Who #13, in an article from Mark W.A.I.D.. Since Mark is a great G.U.Y., he said most everything and there’s very little to add on their origin.
Out of combat, the real Men from N.O.W.H.E.R.E. have no particular speech patterns. But they apparently can only repeat or paraphrase what has just been said. Being husks of dead souls, they have very little creativity.
Sometimes, however, when no superior watch them, a husk may speak from inside the Man from N.O.W.H.E.R.E.. They’ll ask to be released (“Help us. Everything is wrong. We are touched by the dead.”). In short, they’re *creepy*.
The tough part is when the Men from N.O.W.H.E.R.E. start fighting.
Powers and Abilities
Their weapon can be anything from a 1970’s or early 1980’s comic book advertisement. You know : X-Ray glasses, secret of jiu-jitsu, Charles Atlas ads, novelty items for lame practical jokes… Basically, junk aimed at gullible 10 years old in a world gone by.
Unless you’ve memorized them all, you’ll need a few comics from that period for reference.
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The real Men from N.O.W.H.E.R.E. will recite the relevant ad as they attack. Most physical attacks will be done by saying “reduce any assailant to cringing helplessness in seconds !” (jiu jutsu ad), “now you, too, can be tough !” (was it a martial art or a body building ad ?), or something comparable.
In DC Heroes RPG terms it resembles Omni-Power, as their supply is probably infinite and generated via psionic energy. Using a meta-Power also allows for any variation on the “amazing X-ray glasses” or the “secret of self-hypnosis” or the “discovery of your inner powers”.
Real Men from N.O.W.H.E.R.E. look like 2,5 metres tall humanoids. Their head is like a giant bird skull, or sometimes a technological approximation of a giant bird skull. They have a great cloak ; their forearms and sash have numerous clocks on them. If they’re bare-chested, you can see a *huge*, drooling, fanged mouth that just stays open.
They start disintegrating after having been destroyed. This leaves a foul smell and, according to Rebis, “some residual existential terror. It was afraid to die a second time”.
They’re much tougher than false Men from N.O.W.H.E.R.E.. But then fighting the Doom Patrol is tough.
What can you do with Men from N.O.W.H.E.R.E. ?
Well, as has been said, they’re sent by the military-industrial complex to squash quirks and freaks, and make the world a rational, normal place. If your players are in the middle of something *really* strange, or are themselves well known freaks, they might be a target for the men in the Pentagon.
Of course, the Men from N.O.W.H.E.R.E. were destroyed by the Doom Patrol, but then, how many of your players read Doom Patrol anyway ? :-/
Game Stats — DC Heroes RPG
Real N.O.W.H.E.R.E. Man
| Dex: 07 | Str: 08 | Bod: 09 | Motivation: Psychotic |
| Int: 03 | Wil: 05 | Min: 02 | Occupation: Enforcers |
| Inf: 04 | Aur: 02 | Spi: 02 | Resources {or Wealth}: 01 |
| Init: 019 | HP: 000 |
Powers:
Omni-Power: 10, Systemic Antidote: 12
Bonuses and Limitations:
Omni-Power has to follow the limits described above. Men from N.O.W.H.E.R.E. have no HP to pay for their Omni-Power ; the fees are paid by captive psi-talent Wallace Sage, who can generates a lot of them.
Advantages:
Credentials (Pentagon, Medium), Iron Nerves.
Drawbacks:
Strange Appearance (really), CIA to following their superior’s order, Major Irrational Fear of the Anyhow Stories, Major Irrational Attraction to the Anyhow Stories (oh yeah : the Anyhow Stories are a book full of eerie, creepy tales. They’re read to the husks so as to discipline them, and they exist in the real world. I mean, our world. Well, yours, at any rate).
Source of Character: Doom Patrol, baby !